I Wonder...

Above: The only photo I have of my parents and me.

I don't have a relationship with either of my parents for many reasons but I wanted to wish them both a happy belated birthday, they both celebrated their birthday's last week. They are both only in their early 50s. I was watching the Country Music Awards last night and a singer named Kellie Pickler came on to sing and I almost changed the channel because I remember her from American Idol but I decided to listen to her latest single called "I Wonder." It touched me. She wrote it for her mother and she sang it with so much feeling and passion. I love the song. I connected with the song instantly. I changed the words a bit - the lyrics are below:

Sometimes I think about you
Wonder if you're out there somewhere thinking bout me
And would you even recognize
The man that your little boy has grown up to be
Cause I look in the mirror and all I see
Are your blue eyes and smile lookin' back at me
They're the only things you ever gave to me at all

Well, out here the weather's nice in California
There's sunny skies as far I can see
If you ever come out here to California
I wonder what you'd say to me

I think about how it ain't fair
That you weren't there when I needed you to care
Like mothers do
You weren't around to cheer me on
Throw the football on the front lawn
Like fathers do
Did you think I didn't need you here
To hold my hand
To dry my tears
Did you even miss me through the years at all

Well, out here the weather's nice in California
There's sunny skies as far I can see
If you ever come out here to California
I wonder what you'd say to me

Forgiveness is such a simple word
But it's so hard to do when you've been hurt

Well, out here the weather's nice in California
And just in case you're wondering about me
I have a great life that you don’t see
Your little boy is finally happy