Monday, April 9, 2007
Driving in California the past three months couldn’t be more different than driving in Boston. I had not driven the past three years while I was living in Boston, but when I did drive there, it was always stressful and so aggressive. I actually really grew to love Boston drivers; I loved all the horn honking, cars cutting others cars off on the narrow streets, classic cases of road rage and the diverse mix of drivers on the road. There were unspoken rules to driving in Boston such as: the high-speed aggressiveness of running a red light (the rule in Boston is once the light turns red, two or three more cars can go through the light), the streets would change weekly so never give anyone directions just point to the destination and holding a parking space with a ghetto lawn chair meant you would fuck someone’s car up if they even thought of parking in that spot when you returned.
My favorite story while driving in Boston was when a cab cut me off and I almost lost control of the car. Luckily I had some ammunition with me, I was eating a box of Cheez-its and I sped up and got right next to the cab and he started swearing at me after HE cut me off and he called my a faggot. I love it. So I threw the box of Cheez-it’s at him through the window. The Cheez-it’s went all over him, in his car and while I drove off and looked in my rearview I saw Cheez-its all over the road. I killed two birds with one box of Cheez-its, revenge on the cab driver and feeding the massive amount of pigeons on the Boston streets.
Now driving in San Francisco has been a calming experience for me. When I first started driving here I was all armed and ready to turn on the aggressiveness. I tested the horn on the SUV to make sure it could be heard loud and clear, strapped on my pilot goggles and leather gloves. I was ready for the road rage!! But I noticed that the drivers in San Fran are so relaxed, no horn honking, no cutting people off, no running the red lights. Actually, people are so nice that they let you go first through the stop signs and the other day some lady rolled down her window while I was waiting at a stoplight and struck up a conversation. I almost passed a brick at how friendly she was! This is all fine and good but there are a few things I must vent about. Slamming on your brakes when anticipating the light will turn yellow. I can see slowing down on the yellow light but coming to a complete stop drives me insane. Meandering down the street while driving without a care in the world can be found on every street in San Fran. It blows my mind that people pretty much drive down the street at a snail’s pace and just don’t care. The laid back attitude that people are known for having in San Fran is great and I love the people out here but drive the God dam car! And lastly, the one common link that I also find in San Francisco that is just as dangerous here as it was in Boston; Asian drivers. I will never for the life of me understand why the majority of Asians cannot drive a car. I have come to accept that this is no longer a stereotype but a fact. All cars should come with warning labels like the one below. I am not being racist with this remark, all of us have thought this at one point and it's all in jest. I am not pulling an Imus!:-)
Everyone has there driving faults. I will admit I have my own faults with driving. I have out run a few cop cars in my younger days. My driving record is not the greatest but I can honestly say I have never been in a car accident. I never did like to insure my car or get inspection stickers, register a car; hell I don’t even see the need for a license.