tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post3849205858888224860..comments2023-05-10T05:58:38.772-07:00Comments on The Streets of San Francisco: What's a Father?Menkyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15377306005236354296noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-23738571851724109132008-06-17T22:12:00.000-07:002008-06-17T22:12:00.000-07:00This really was a very special post for me to read...This really was a very special post for me to read on several levels. I'm certainly appreciative about the encouragement that I'm at least doing something right as a father :-)<BR/><BR/>It also caused me to reflect back on my own childhood and what shapes you at a young age. At one point, the most influential father figure in my life was a fun-loving police officer from my neighborhood named Rocky. I still remember him dressing up as Santa Claus every x-mas... and there's nothing better than an african-american Santa Claus bringing you toys at Christmas time! He used to go to all my little league games and he was super supportive of everything I did as a kid. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, love and support - that's what I'll always try to give to Zach. Seeing these pictures certainly makes me believe that he'll get a lot of both those things from all of these strong role models in his life. Good post, Menks!PJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13791612088962708659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-40256760913733673572008-06-17T16:10:00.000-07:002008-06-17T16:10:00.000-07:00Loved this! Very heart-warming.Loved this! Very heart-warming.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-12955691545531392032008-06-17T12:43:00.000-07:002008-06-17T12:43:00.000-07:00What a wonderful post in so many ways. I love all ...What a wonderful post in so many ways. I love all of those pictures of Zach being loved. Michelle's comment about breaking the dysfunctional family cycle is so true. You both have made great decisions about how to live your lives. Paul's mother and brother-in-law Mike are owed a lot of credit too for turning what could have been a tough family life into a loving one.Carrie Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17843357792112839122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-86956316279441139922008-06-17T10:53:00.000-07:002008-06-17T10:53:00.000-07:00Clint -I appreciate your post. It's very interesti...Clint -<BR/><BR/>I appreciate your post. It's very interesting the relationship between a father and their gay son, there usually isn't one. It's funny to see it on the flip side with Paul being gay and Zachary being "straight" - it will be interesting to see that dynamic in the future. <BR/><BR/>When I came out at 16, my father was not accepting to my lifestyle at all. He never reached out to me, never made any attempt to support me or make me feel he was on my side. His way of dealing with it was to ignore me. <BR/><BR/>I am sorry to hear that your father was killed and the relationship was left unsettled. I thought about that about 4-5 years ago and I mailed a letter to my father expressing how I felt and where I stood and really let loose on my feelings. I did get a nasty voicemail from him expressing his side of the story and him trying to defend himself.... it really was to late to open those wound but I felt I needed some closure on my end. <BR/><BR/>At any age, when coming out to your father has to be a tough thing and I am glad I have met both you and Bill - you're wonderful people. I am glad Bill had the courage to come out to his dad and the only person who's is missing out is Bill's dad. He really is missing out on getting to know who his son really is and his wonderful partner. Who knows, maybe his father will come around.Menkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15377306005236354296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-62452217224663152512008-06-17T10:43:00.000-07:002008-06-17T10:43:00.000-07:00Ryan - you're very sweet. Thanks for the great com...Ryan - you're very sweet. Thanks for the great comment and I am proud to have a great friend like you in my life.<BR/><BR/>Even though I do have to say I am not perfect around Zach, sometimes I slip and say things that are not appropriate.. Oh like the word "dump" in reference to having to go to the bathroom. Things you don't think he will remember but does:-) Oh the joy!Menkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15377306005236354296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-42127767525880368062008-06-17T10:38:00.000-07:002008-06-17T10:38:00.000-07:00Ya know, I found that picture recently and I don't...Ya know, I found that picture recently and I don't remember seeing that picture of my father and me. I have very few photos of us together and when I saw that picture I said to myself, "wow I really do see myself in that picture" - his face, high forehead, cheekbone etc...I never thought I looked much like my parents, but that picture made me realize I look a lot like my father. So no - I am not offended.Menkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15377306005236354296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-24831629290717490752008-06-17T10:33:00.000-07:002008-06-17T10:33:00.000-07:00Neil - I have to say that post was quite moving. I...Neil - I have to say that post was quite moving. I hope this does not offend you, but that first picture of your father really shows a strong resemblance to you. Looks like you did get something from your dad, his good looks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-88136196681658779822008-06-17T08:58:00.000-07:002008-06-17T08:58:00.000-07:00I enjoyed your post very much, Neil. I was never ...I enjoyed your post very much, Neil. I was never close to my father, and he was killed in a freeway collision 30 years ago when I was in my mid-20's. At the time, I was living 2,000 miles away from him in San Francisco. Unfinished business, as they say. The father-son relationship is always fraught, especially for gay boys. <BR/><BR/>Being a great Dad has got to be an extremely difficult thing, especially for the restless. (I think of Bruce Springsteen's song Hungry Heart: "Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack. I went out for a ride and I never went back. Just like a river that don't know where it's flowing, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going.") <BR/><BR/>Bill and I have lived together for 11 years, but I've never met his Dad. Bill "came out" to him (and told him about us) a couple of years ago and his father hasn't communicated with him since. At this point I don't want to ever meet him. Is family life ever "functional" (as opposed to dysfunctional)? <BR/><BR/>Sorry if this is too downbeat,<BR/><BR/>All the best to you and Paul as fathers to Zach.<BR/> - ClintClinthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17227088549305528155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-74646614463531484202008-06-17T08:18:00.000-07:002008-06-17T08:18:00.000-07:00I loved this collection of pictures and thoughts a...I loved this collection of pictures and thoughts about fatherhood and child growth. It is a great display of how unconventional means of growing up or raising a child don't necessarily equate to chaos. <BR/><BR/>Watching you and Paul with Zach is one of the most beautiful things to see and it makes me happy everytime I am lucky enough to witness it. <BR/><BR/>I am happy for the world that someone in its future is being raised by you two. The world needs more parents like you two out there!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-16270362617097270242008-06-16T22:05:00.000-07:002008-06-16T22:05:00.000-07:00Thanks for the sweet comment Michelle! I also wish...Thanks for the sweet comment Michelle! <BR/><BR/>I also wish we lived closer to one another, Zach and Ryan would get along great I am sure:-)<BR/><BR/>I also agree that the dysfunctional family cycle can be broken. I learned from the things in my past and turned the negatives into a positives.<BR/><BR/>You're a great friend Michelle, when I get to New York it will be great to connect:-)Menkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15377306005236354296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-35505502086032639842008-06-16T18:57:00.000-07:002008-06-16T18:57:00.000-07:00Hi Neil -What a wonderfully touching Father's Day ...Hi Neil -<BR/><BR/>What a wonderfully touching Father's Day post!<BR/><BR/>I really enjoyed reading it and seeing the <BR/>selection of photos too.<BR/><BR/>Zach is a very lucky little boy to have so many<BR/>loving people in his life. <BR/><BR/>The love, care and attention that both you and Paul give Zach is to be applauded every single day. <BR/><BR/>Not just on Father's Day!<BR/><BR/>See, the dysfunctional family cycle CAN be <BR/>broken. Both you and Paul are proof of that. <BR/>I get so tired of people blaming their "bad childhood" on why they're so screwed up as adults. <BR/><BR/>Proud to call you my friend, Neil. I'm just sorry we don't live closer. Zach and Ryan would make great buddies :)<BR/><BR/>MichelleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4029060311128471508.post-11231412601198257402008-06-16T18:44:00.000-07:002008-06-16T18:44:00.000-07:00That story is abosolutely Beautiful. You are all ...That story is abosolutely Beautiful. You are all very luck to have one another.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com